Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking there's two. One at a time, please. Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking I'm a dog. Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you. I'm not allowed on the furniture. Doctor: "take the green pill with a glass of water when you get. Take the blue pill with 2 glasses of water after lunch.
Homework jokes and humor
Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Doctor, doctor, i feel like a bridge. What's come over you? Two cars and a bus! Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking I'm fitness a spoon. Sit there and don't stir. Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking I'm a billiard ball. Get back in the queue. Doctor, doctor, i keep thinking I'm a pack of cards. I'll deal with you later.
The last guy thinks summary a minute and replies, "I guess I'd like to hear them say. " Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain. My wife keeps hitting me over the head with. Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in? Certainly - how about a paper bag? Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring.
When my husband and i arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, i instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "hey i announced to the technician, "it's open!". To which he replied, "I know - i already got that side.". After dying in an accident, three friends. They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket, and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?". The first guy immediately responds, "I would like to hear them say that I was one of pdf the great doctors of my time, and a great family man.". The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in the children of tomorrow.".
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?". Inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually i don't said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.". An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into heaven?". The boy thought it over and said, "Well, i'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until ter says. 'for heaven's sake, jimmy, come in or stay out!
Homework, jokes, funny humor by, joke
The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'this is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you see to it?' 'well he said, 'i can world drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, i go fishing.'. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than children because they:. Usually come when called. Are easier to train. Don't ask for money all the time.
Don't drink or smoke. Don't hang out with friends who use drugs. Never ask to drive the car. Don't have to have the latest fashions. Don't want to wear your clothes. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the bible. He picked up the object and looked. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'mum, look what I found the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'i think it's Adam's underwear! after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.
Homework, jokes on Behance
'The decline in time spent doing homework might be the result of changing patterns in how students use their free time, reflecting, for example, the growing importance of the Internet and computers in adolescents lives reads the study. 'It might also be the result of changes in teachers ideas about whether to assign homework, and how much is enough or too much.'. Pattern: According to the study, the amount of time teens spend on homework has decreased since 2003 in most biography countries - apart from in Austria, where it has increased slightly. The report found that students from socio-economically advantaged backgrounds and those who attend socio-economically advantaged schools tend to spend more time doing homework. This led researchers to question whether homework reinforces the existing performance gap between students from differing backgrounds. The study reads: 'The bottom line: Homework is another opportunity for learning; but it may also reinforce disparities in student achievement. 'Schools and teachers should look for ways to encourage struggling and disadvantaged students to complete their homework.'.
From just two hours a week to a relentless 14, after-school workloads across the globe. Published: 18:35 bst, 19 December 2014 Updated: 18:36 bst, 19 December shares, a new study reveals just how much time teenagers spend on their homework across the globe. According to a brief from the. Organisation for Economic co-operation and developmen t, or oecd, homework varies drastically from country to country, with the average 15-year-old American spending business six hours a week on it in 2012 and those in Korea and Finland spending less than three. In Shanghai, students tend to be burdened with the most time-consuming assignments, with the average teen spending about 14 hours a week on them - or two hours every single night. Heavy load: A new study reveals just how much time teenagers spend on their homework across the globe, with Americans spending six hours a week and Shanghai students spending. Also on the high end of the spectrum is Russia, where students spend about ten hours a week on homework. According to the study, the amount of time teens spend on homework has decreased since 2003 in most countries - apart from in Austria, where it has increased slightly. S., the average amount of time spent on homework has remained roughly the same at six hours for the past ten years.
opinion.'. Mr McLachlan took a photo of the assignment and posted it online, where it has been shared hundreds of times. One user commented: 'would they go to a muslim school and ask them to write a letter to their parents about converting to catholic? 'Children should not be made to write letters about converting to any religion for any reason.'. Another user said: 'Isn't part of re to research, investigate and teach about all religions? 'i feel like this homework is just an exercise about converting to another religion. That's been blown way out of proportion.'. MailOnline has approached the kepier School for comment. How long do your kids spend on homework?
Mr McLachlan visited the school to raise his concerns and was told that this was part of the curriculum and was shown example exam questions for Islam, Christianity and Hinduism. The homework came to light when Mr McLachlan was looking through the youngster's school planner and saw the teacher has written the task essay to be handed in on november. He added: 'When I saw this assignment in the planner, written by the teacher, you could have knocked me over with a feather. 'i told her she will not be completing it and she is more worried about getting detention. 'we send our kids to school to get a good education and use what they have learnt to have a good career. 'i have no problem with them learning about religions but I feel they should not be asking 12-year-olds writing to their parents about why they are converting. Mr McLachlan has slammed the decision by the kepier School (pictured) to ask pupils to pen the note 'i just found the task wholly inappropriate.
Why didnt you do your
A furious stepfather has refused to let his 12-year-old stepdaughter finish her homework after she was asked to write a letter to her family about becoming a muslim. Mark McLachlan, 43, from houghton-le-Spring, near Sunderland, has slammed the decision by the kepier legs School to ask pupils to pen the note. He has refused to let his stepdaughter, who he has asked not to be named, complete the task after failing to see what the letter would accomplish. Mr McLachlan said: 'i know as part of the national curriculum they have to learn about all religions. Mark McLachlan, 43, found the homework task (pictured) in his stepdaughter's planner and refused to let her finish it 'i just don't see why they should ask a child to write a letter addressed to their family about converting to another religion. I really just don't see what the letter will gain. 'If they want children to learn about Islam, then go teach them all about it and its history. 'What I don't want is a school asking my stepdaughter to look into reasons for converting to another religion. 'like every parent, it is our decision on how we raise them and once they are old enough to make decision, then it is there choice.'.